‘I abandoned my disabled children and left my husband to start a new life’

A woman on Reddit has confessed to ditching her husband and their four children in favour of a better life in the US several decades ago – and she feels “no guilt”

There are many of us who dream of moving permanently to a different country for a better job or nicer weather – but would you make the move if it meant leaving behind your children?

That’s what one woman did, as she recently confessed on Reddit to fleeing her home country in favour of a new life in the US without her husband or their four kids.

The woman didn’t name the country she is originally from, but said she was born in 1950 and married her husband when she was 16 – although she knew she wasn’t attracted to him because she’s a lesbian.

She wrote: “I had a neighbour, let’s call him Dan. Dan and I had been friends since he moved in. I could definitely tell he liked me, but I can now recognise what I felt for him as purely platonic.

“When I was 15, Dan and I started dating, I thought that I liked him, so I went for it. Our relationship was good because he was enjoyable to be around, but I wasn’t really in love with him.

“My parents and his parents at this point, were already pressuring us about marriage and kids. I knew I didn’t want either of those but it being the 60s, in my country, I didn’t have much choice.

“When I was 16 and Dan was 18, we got married because he had to join the equivalent of the navy in our country.”

The woman stated she didn’t have sex with Dan until they tied the knot and said she “did not enjoy” it when it happened.

She went on to have four children by the time she was 20, including one set of twins, and she claimed she “hated” her life – which is why she planned to leave.

She added: “I hated my life so much. My kids were severely disabled, and I had no help. Dan had completely settled into the lifestyle of a father at that time, which was letting me handle it.

“My twins had what would now be diagnosed as severe autism, my son was born diabetic, my daughter was the only normal one.

“I hated my life, I dreamt of leaving every day. I confided in a friend of mine, and she told me I should just leave, I took it to heart and began planning my escape.”

The woman fled to the US without telling her family, and because of her status as a refugee she was able to “create an entirely new identity” for herself.

She eventually met another man and had another child, and after divorcing him she finally met her wife, whom she married in 2017.

The woman then got in touch with her friend back home, who told her that her “entire family assumed she got kidnapped and died”.

She also explained her husband had put their children in an orphanage and had later “died alone” after vowing never to remarry – but the woman feels “no guilt” for leaving.

She said: “I did end up getting back in contact with my old friend, she told me my entire family assumed I got kidnapped and died, she told me she kept my secret all these years.

“My husband struggled to care for my kids, and they were given to an orphanage. My husband died alone, thinking I was dead and vowing to never remarry.

“Honestly, I feel no guilt. I feel free. I don’t regret what I did at all. I’ve never told a soul what I did, not my second husband, my wife, my daughter. I left them to die basically, and I don’t regret it for one single second because I love my life.”